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Tuesday, October 13, 2009

सिसक



इन पलकों के पीछे आज
इक समुन्दर सा उमड़ रहा है
सुर्ख इस रूह की गहराइयों में
इक बादल सा घुमड़ रहा है
दिल-ए-गुस्ताखी की बक्शीश तो
उसके पास भी न थी कभी
अब भी
जो साकित इस ज़िन्दगी में
साँसे कुछ मढ़ रहा है

कसक सी जगी थी इसमें
कुछ
चंद लम्हा पहले जो
उस कसक के एहसास को
आज फिर वो टला रहा है
मेरे इश्क के जुनूँ से शर्मा के
कल शाम जो ढल गया था
बेशर्मी की तेज़ी से अब
पहचां को जला रहा है

जाओ न करेंगे अब
गिला कोई यूँ तुमसे
उन लबों के निशान अब भी
दिल-ए-खामोश भुला रहा है
पर इस जिस्म के हर ज़र्रे पर
उन लबों के हैं कुछ
ज़ख्म
उन ज़ख्मों का दर्द अब भी हमें
पल पल यूँ रुला रहा है..

पल पल यूँ रुला रहा है

Friday, October 09, 2009

And So It Is...

Friday, 2 a.m. I lie sleepless, on a bed stretched out in the warmth of a fireplace in a begrimed space somewhere in the city. While the world is unconscious of the evil spiders lurking in the dark corners of their bedrooms, I can’t seem to untangle the cobwebs spun around my mind. It grows grimmer, like a sinister maze. The threads entwine with every effort I make to undo them, for the spiders are stronger than my will. I dread the dawn. The thought of another day to live petrifies me. I panic. I can’t take this anymore. This unwarranted life, this unjustifiable existence amidst barking pillars. I find myself failing miserably to find a meaning; to find anything. My thoughts wander aimlessly. Its a dead end that I have reached. The only way out is the way back. But I haven’t been as wise as Gretel to have dropped bread crumbs along the way. I am out of choices because of the ones previously made. Stuck in mire, I feel engulfed in it more with every tick of the wall clock. Tick Tock Tick Tock Tick Tock!

O no! I see...

I spun a web,

Its tangled up with me.

And I lost my head..

The thought of all the stupid things I’ve said...

O no! What’s this?

A spider’s web

And I’m caught in the middle

I turned to run..

The thought of all the stupid things I’ve done.

I never meant to cause you trouble

I never meant to do you wrong

I, Well if I ever caused you trouble

O, No I never meant to do you harm...

[Courtesy: Coldplay - Trouble]

Akki,

It took me a long time to write this. And I am not even sure if I am doing the correct thing or what. All I want to tell you is how sorry I am that I put you through this. And all I ever want is to see you smile and be happy, wherever you are, Zurich, or otherwise!


Love always,
Josh.